At some point in our lives we have all been told to stand up for what we believe in. The cliche lines: "nothing will change without you" or "be a voice for the future generation". You've been told that right? But it's what comes after we are not told as much about...
Of course people won't agree with you 100% of the time, that's no surprise, but to be victimized for your beliefs is something that's hard, almost impossible, to prepare for.
Over the past month I have been delivering talks to audiences ranging from 100 people to around 500 people. Let me tell you that in itself is terrifying! I have transformed from a person who less than two years ago would have a panic attack if someone stared at me (no, I'm not joking), to someone able to deliver a talk to that many of my peers on what's considered a controversial topic- feminism and equality.
Each time I finished one of these talks I would be ecstatic, proud that I had done something that could help shape the mindsets of young adults and maybe change a persons life. I had been warned about the backlash, but me being the head strong person I am insisted that the hardest part would be the talking and after that I would be able to deal with anything thrown my way.
The statements: "You're brave", "I could never do that" and "you must be so scared", had been repeated to me so many times that they were constantly echoing around my head. I know that these were all said to be encouraging and yet they were the opposite. I was constantly doubting myself. Was I doing the right thing? Why was I the only person who had ever done anything like this? Could I really do it? Am I strong enough? Was I willing to lose some of the people close to me because of it? Yet, I pushed these thoughts away knowing everything I was doing was for the right reasons and that as soon as I had done it things would change. "Would"? Maybe, I was naive or maybe I just didn't expect what was later coming. Who would expect that?
I knew that I would be subjected to snide comments going about my daily life; I had been subjected to this so called 'banter' many times before. If you have an opinion that strays from sports talk or general gossip then it is almost a prerequisite that you are targeted. Unfair? Trust me I know, but, as i have been told so many times before "that's just how it works" and so I should just "accept it". But, what I wasn't prepared for was to be humiliated publicly or for the sheer mass of people to partake in this "banterful" mocking. I especially was not prepared for those closest to me to find, what technically is bullying, funny. Or to lose peoples respect or friendship. For my talk to be referred to as being "pathetic" on a public platform was heartbreaking. I had put so much effort and courage into it, in hope to make an impact, that this completely disheartened me, and even worse I regretted doing it.
However, maybe the problem isn't that people didn't agree with me, its that society has formed their attitudes to reject those who stand up for inequality or who are different to themselves. And that's why people don't stand up for what they believe in, because they will be victimized, not for their views, but for the fact they are brave enough to stand up and do something to try and make a change.
During the talk I asked for a show of hands as to who identified as a feminist. Looking out into the sparse array of hands, I saw multiple people, who had previously told me they identified as a feminist with their hands clasped defiantly in their lap. From many discussions, a number of people in a one-to-one, trusting environment had so many positive things to say about the talk and the idea of feminism and equality, yet when in a public environment they join in with the mocking in order to 'save themselves'. However, if people voiced their honest feelings then the people who hid behind banter to share their discontent would in fact be the minority, meaning that this bullying would have less of an effect and eventually die out.
The issue we, as a whole, need to tackle next is the societal mindset. If you see someone standing up for their belief, don't dismiss, humiliate or bully them, take in what they have to say. We don't need to conform to these peculiar expectations that everyone who has a strong belief is a monster; follow your own belief and make the world a better place. I hope to show everyone that despite standing up for your beliefs not being easy it is achievable and will inevitably make you stronger.
Promoting equality shouldn't be something we are scared to do. Nor should equality be something that we are scared of.
Reflecting back now, I don't regret what I did and I never will.
To have the ability to public speak has taught me strength and courage.
To have the ability to deal with all the negative comments has taught me resilience.
To have the ability to put on a brave face in the midst of humiliation has taught me that I AM strong.
To have the ability to write this blog affirms to me that I will never give up when trying to gain equality, and that I will always stay true to myself.
If you are ever in doubt remember: "If not me, who? If not now, when?"
